
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1130929.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major
      Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Other, F/F, Multi
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Draco_Malfoy/Original_Female_Character(s), Draco_Malfoy/Harry_Potter
  Character:
      Original_Female_Character(s), Ebony_Dark'ness_Dementia_Raven_Way, Draco
      Malfoy, Harry_Potter, Vampire_Potter, Dumbledore, Severus_Snap, Severus
      Snape, Minerva_McGonagall
  Additional Tags:
      Out_of_Character, Translation, My_Immortal_-_Freeform, Offensive_Jokes,
      Totally_Nothing_Resembling_What_it_is_Based_on, The_Author_Regrets
      Everything, But_Would_Do_This_Again, Not_Politically_Correct, Censored,
      bad_spelling, I'm_not_actually_sure_what_happens_in_each_chapter,
      Excessive_dressing, Goths, preps, Posers, Historically_minded_author
      makes_notes, Angst, Bad_romance_(not_song), Tags_Are_Fun, Other
      Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, English_translation, MCR, Good_Charlotte_-
      Freeform, Mary_Sue, Geography, The_author_is_annoyed_that_the_original
      author_could_spell_mediocre_correctly_but_not_love
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-01-11 Updated: 2014-01-12 Chapters: 2/? Words: 2200
****** My Immortal: English Translation ******
by CrazyDyslexicNerd
Summary
     So, every member of the Harry Potter fandom has heard of the infamous
     My Immortal by Tara Gillespie, right? Well, I don't believe it is
     written in English, so I decided to translate it into something
     slightly more legible. This is a very odd story with very OOC
     characters and a plot that makes no sense. Enjoy.
Notes
     I first found my immortal with comments, and found I was completely
     unable to understand the original text. Since then, I have become
     more adept at reading the language originally used. I decided to
     translate this story into English so those who either simply have no
     comprehension of the language Tara Gillespie used, or, like me, have
     enough trouble reading English without this entirely different
     dialect (dyslexia and the original text of My Immortal do not mix
     well). Everything written in italics I added for ease of
     comprehension or for the readers enjoyment. Word choice, grammar,
     punctuation, and similar are not italicised.
See the end of the work for more notes
  This work was inspired by
      My_Immortal by Tara Gillespie
***** Chapters 1 and 2 *****
My Immortal English Translation
Chapter 1
Author’s Note: Special fangs (get it, because I’m gothic) to my good/girlfriend
(not in that way) Raven, (username bloodytearz666), for helping me with the
story and the spelling. You rock! Justin, you are the love of my depressing
life; you rock too! My Chemical Romance (MCR) Rocks!
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Hi, my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. I have long ebony black hair
(that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks, and the red tips of my hair
reach my mid-back, my icy blue eyes are like limpid tears, and a lot of people
tell me I look like Amy Lee (Note 1).
I’m not related to Gerard Way despite sharing a last name, but I wish I was
because he is really hot. I’m also a vampire, but my teeth are straight and
white and I have pale white skin. I’m a witch as well, and I go to a magic
school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in England (this is a
small error in geography, Hogwarts School is, in fact, in Scotland), where I’m
starting my seventh year (I’m seventeen). For any who do not know, Hogwarts is
a boarding school that one attends for up to seven years (the seventh year
being optional) from the age of eleven until seventeen or eighteen.
I’m a Goth, (a note on Gothic subculture may be found at the end of the
chapter) in case you couldn’t tell, and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic,
despite it being an American chain of music and pop-culture related retail
items, and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a
black corset with matching lace around the edges, a black leather miniskirt,
pink fishnets, and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white
foundation, black eyeliner, and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts
and it was both snowing and raining even though it was September, someone was
probably practicing spell work, so the sun was not visible which I was very
happy about. A lot of preps (see note on ‘preps’) stared at me. I put up my
middle finger at them,as I had spent the summer in America where I found my
love of Hot Topic and the use of the middle finger instead of the more expected
V-sign with palm facing inward.
‘Hey, Ebony!’ shouted a voice. I looked up and saw that it was Draco Malfoy.
‘What’s up, Draco?’ I asked.
‘Nothing.’ he said, shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to leave.
Note 1: if you don’t know who she is get the h*** out of here!
Note on Gothic Subculture: A movement that started in England around a unified
taste in music and eventually developing a particular sense of fashion. The use
of Gothic to describe the culture is misleading, Gothic originally described a
type of architecture used before the Renaissance. Gothic architecture is known
for being light, airy, and spacious particularly compared to the Romanesque
architecture preceding it. In fact, while Romanesque focused on a theme of
eternal damnation, Gothic was focused on salvation.
A note on ‘preps’: A ‘prep’ was originally a person who went to a preparatory
school or was preparing for an, often prestigious, college. It eventually came
to mean a person who conforms to the latest style and the stereotypical
behavior of a teenager. Now close to synonymous with conformist and considered
an insult.
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Author’s Note: Is it good? Please tell me what you think! Fangs in advance!
Chapter 2
Author’s Note: Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the
way, preps stop flaming my story, okay?
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The next day I woke up in my bedroom, I had been given my own room off my
dormitory so I wouldn’t drink other students blood or something similar. It was
snowing and raining again, I wondered who was practicing there weather spells
so intently. I opened the lid of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I
kept in my room. My coffin was black ebony, multiplied by other wizards so as
not to cut down endangered kinds of trees, and inside it was covered in hot
pink velvet with black lace around the edges. I got out of my coffin and took
of my giant MCR t-shirt which I had slept in. Instead, I put on a black leather
dress, a necklace with a pentagram shaped pendant, combat boots, and black
fishnets. I also put on four pairs of earrings, and put my hair in a messy kind
of bun.
My friend, Willow (see Note 1), woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her
long, waist-length, raven black hair with pink streaks in it, and opened her
forest-green eyes. She put on a Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini skirt,
fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup together (black
lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner if you were interested).
‘Oh my f****** God, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!’ She said,
excitedly.
‘Yeah, so?’ I said, blushing.
‘Do you like Draco?’ She asked, as we left the Slytherin common room and
entered the Great Hall.
‘No, I so f****** don’t!’ I shouted.
‘Yeah right!’ She exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.
‘Hi.’ He said.
‘Hi.’ I replied, flirtatiously.
‘Guess what?’ He said.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘Well, Good Charlotte is having a concert near Hogsmeade.’ He told me.
Hogsmeade is a wizarding village near Hogwarts that older students were allowed
to visit on certain occasions and apparently Good Charlotte was on an
international tour. I discovered Good Charlotte and MCR when I was visiting the
U.S..
‘Oh. My. F******. God!’ I screamed. I love Good Charlotte, in fact, they are
probably my favorite band besides MCR.
‘Well, um, do you want to go with me?’ He asked.
I gasped at him.
Note 1: Raven, this is you!
***** Chapters 3-5 *****
Chapter Summary
     The translator is not always sure of what is meant, and crimes
     against characterisation are perpetrated.
Chapter Notes
     Shenanigans happen, and bands go on international tours and turn out
     to be wizards. I do not condone anything written in this story!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Chapters 3-5
Chapter 3
Author’s Note: Stop flaming the story preps, okay? Otherwise, fangs to the
gothic people for the good reviews! Fangs again, Raven! Oh, yeah, by the way, I
don’t own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.
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On the night of the concert, I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels.
Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather mini-
dress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching
fishnet gloves on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I
felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing
book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some Good
Charlotte. I painted my nails black and put on tons of black eyeliner. Then I
put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale
anyway. I drank some human blood so I wouldn’t get hungry at the concert.
I went outside and found Draco waiting there in front of his flying car as the
only flying car I had heard of was wild in the Forbidden Forest, I had to
wonder where he had gotten it. Thinking about it, using a flying car is very
likely illegal, but as nothing else makes logical sense, I decided to ignore
it. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too, they
were apparently touring the United Kingdom with Good Charlotte, a New Jersey
band and a Canadian band touring together on an entirely different continent,
cool), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (Note
1)
‘Hi, Draco.’ I said in a depressed voice.
‘Hi Ebony.’ He said back.
We got into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and
flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good
Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and took drugs. When we
got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front
of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
‘You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life.’ sang Joel (Note 2).
‘Joel is so f****** hot.’ I said to Draco, pointing to the singer on the stage,
filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly, Draco looked sad.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked as we moshed to the music, then I caught on, ‘Hey, it’s
okay I don’t like him better than you!’ I said.
‘Really?’ Asked Draco sensitively, and then he put his arm around me
protectively.
‘Really.’ I said, ‘Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with
Hilary f****** Duff. I f****** hate that little b****.’ I said disgustedly,
thinking of her ugly blonde face.
The night went really well and I had a great time, so did Draco. After the
concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel (turned out the entirety
of the band was made up of muggle-born wizards) for their autographs and photos
with them. We got Good Charlotte concert tees before Draco and I crawled back
into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he
drove the car into the Forbidden Forest.
Note 1: A lot of cool boys wear [eyeliner], okay?
Note 2: I don’t own the lyrics to that song.
Chapter 4.
Author’s Notes: I said stop flaming, okay? Ebony’s name is Ebony, not Mary Sue,
okay? Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different! They knew each
other before, okay?
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‘Draco!’ I shouted, ‘What the f*** do you think you are doing?’
Draco didn’t answer, but he landed the flying car and got out of it. I got out
of it too, curiously.
‘What the f****** h***?’ I asked angrily.
‘Ebony?’ He asked.
‘What?’ I snapped.
Draco leaned in extra close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was
wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness
and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.
And then suddenly just as I was about to say more, Draco kissed me
passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly (the
translator is unsure what is meant by this, but offers ‘excitedly’ as an
alternative word) against a tree breaking many laws of physics. He took off my
top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then the text was
deleted for sheer ridiculousness and oddity but suffice it to say we had sex
for the first time.
I screamed as I had an orgasm. We started to kiss each other everywhere we
could reach and my pale body was becoming warm.
Then someone shouted, ‘What the h*** are you doing you mother-f******?’
It was Dumbledore!
Chapter 5.
Author’s Note: stop flaming! If you flame, it means you are a prep or a poser!
The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache, okay? And, on
top of that, he was mad at them for having sex!
P. S. I’m not updating until I get five good reviews!
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Dumbledore told Draco and I follow him.
He kept shouting at us angrily, ‘You ludicrous fools!’
I started to cry tears of blood, (somewhere a biologist cried normal tears over
the idea of blood tears) down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we got
back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor
McGonagall who were both looking very angry. I have no idea why Professor
McGonagall was there, as we were both Slytherins
‘They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!’ Dumbledore
yelled in a furious voice.
‘Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?’ Asked Professor McGonagall.
‘How dare you?’ Demanded Professor Snape.
Then Draco shrieked, ‘Because I love her!’
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad, but
Professor Snape said. ‘Fine, very well, you may go up to your rooms.’
Draco and I went upstairs and then realized our dormitories were in fact in the
Dungeons, so we went back down the stairs while the teachers glared at us.
‘Are you okay, Ebony?’ Draco asked me gently.
‘Yeah I guess.’ I lied.
I went to the girl’s dormitory and brushed my teeth and my hair, then changed
into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black
high heels. When I came out, Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and
he started to sing ‘I Just Wanna Live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered
that I didn't care that he wasn’t supposed to be there and I had no idea how he
had gotten there without the stairs turning into a slide. We hugged and kissed.
After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
Chapter End Notes
     If I missed any parts in the translation, let me know, please!
End Notes
     This will be done a few chapters at a time. Comments are welcome,
     but, please remember I am not the original author and do not agree
     with much of what is said.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
